Am I living your dreams or are you living mine?

With all the whirlwind of excitement gone from returning home.  I had become caught up in the holiday and again visiting everyone.  I looked forward to seeing everyone, the hesitation from returning had dissipated.  I only focused on one thing, finding a job.  I looked day and night.  Getting quite a few leads I became excited at finding something in the outdoor field.

The first week was spent filling everything out and that is all I did.  Application after application, all day, nothing else mattered, I had to find a job soon.  I stayed with Kim for a while and then with a good friend of mine for a weekend.   I had gotten three good leads in the first week.  Two jobs in Bettles, Alaska and one out in Colorado.  I was very excited for the Alaska ones.  I truly wanted them.  How many people in the world could be as specifically qualified for it as I was?  Less than a dozen?  How many had applied?

While waiting to hear back form the three possible jobs i filled my days with organizing my belongings and applying for more work.  It got to the point that I had exhausted almost all my options and started to worry about even finding one.  Then I heard back from all three in the same day.  Each conversation taking the same tone, I was more than qualified and they were sorry to say the position had been filled.  Heartbreak, in just an hour I had received three no’s from all my good possibilities.  What was I to do.  I refocused and stopped everything I was doing.

If I wasn’t looking for work I was sleeping.  I searched tirelessly over the hone and the internet for work.  With just a day or so I was then thrust into thanksgiving and traveling for a few days, giving me the much needed time off.  The day after my return, I received a phone call late in the evening, Colorado was calling.  Answering the phone, I listened as the woman on the other end said the same thing I had heard before.  This time, she ended with, I’d like to offer you a position with us.  Without hesitation I agreed and set up a time to work out the formalities.  I was going to Colorado to a mountain ranch deep in the Rockies.  i was going to continue to live the dream, the adventure would continue.

I had no time now to get things done, I became focused again on condensing my belongings and arranging travel.  Almost everything I owned had been on craigslist and I was still waiting to hear about any of my items.  I took clothes to Goodwill, electronics to 2nd & Charles, and gave other things to friends.  I only had a few more days before i would have to get out to Colorado.  Just like the job offer, Craigslist came back at the last minute in a fury.  I had emails coming in left and right for the items I was selling.  I ran around town for two days straight meeting people, gathering up enough cash for my plane tickets and the first months worth of expenses.  I was going to Colorado for the next 4 to 8 months and it really was happening.

I tried to contain my excitement as I told my friends and family.  Each one becoming excited and happy for me but then asking me when, I had just come home.  They were sad to see me have to leave so soon, yet still happy for me.  A few became envious of where I was going and what I was doing.  I thought about there comments and words on the bus to Boston.  I was traveling north to bring stuff to my brother and to visit Deja Vu and Earthling.

They were envious of my life, my freedom, the places I was going and will go.  They envied the adventure, the lifestyle, the excitement in my eyes.  Funny, I envied them.  Aaron 2.0 my best friend had just bought a house and all I could think about was how sweet it was.  He had talked about each room and I was excited for him, for his plans for his house, plans for the summer and winter.  I was envious of his stability and the places he was going in his life.  I thought how I was living his dream and how he was in fact living mine.  He wasn’t the only one though, my sister with her wild family was something I had on my mind.   all of my friends were in a way doing what i longed for. I thought back to what I had joked about with my friends.  they had asked what I was going to do next and I replied half jokingly that I would live their dreams, they were already living mine.

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