Hard talks

Earthling and I headed out of town around 10 and pushed up to the first shelter. In our climb up we had in intense conversation regarding beliefs and about society. No matter what we talked about there was always a level of respect no matter the difference of opinion. The slow climb left us full of breathe and able to talk the whole way up. We went from our intense discussion to our usual matters, getting to know each other better.
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She had been struggling with a problem I had before I came out here, how to get some in to understand what you were doing. The only advice I had was the story of John and Dawn.  There was no way for me to tell them in a short conversation what and I why I was doing this epic journey. They weren’t there for the moments leading up to it and the hundreds of conversations. I struggled with how to tell them I was going to hike the trail. When it came time to leave I told them I would be gone for a short time while I hiked up the end point.

It wasn’t soon after I left I recieved an email from dawn saying she and found my blog and she was mad at me for lying. You see, I never said I was going to start in Georgia, I only told them I would climb the final mountain and it would take a few weeks. She had read everything, from beginning to end. When we talked on the phone she was a bit mad at me for not telling her, she understood why I couldn’t. There was too much to convey in a short time, too many emotions, reasons, etc. I offered the same advice for her, either write about it or have them read my blog and they might be able to understand what you we doing. The is no easy way to say that you are looking for something, you don’t know why you are pulled to do this, and no you don’t know what you are looking for, you just know you have to go.

How do you explain this venture to someone who is unable to understand what you are going through. The worst part is no that they don’t understand, it’s that they want to but are unable to, I guess I was lucky with my friends and family.  There are plenty of times I wonder if they truly understand what or why I am out here. As of recently there has been a joke among ourselves regarding the day hikers. Every weekend we are inundated with weekenders asking how we are. I’ve gone to answer the same thing every time, Outstanding, living your dreams. As the three of us climbed the first tower of the north I felt like I was in a dream. You could see all Vermont had to offer and it was mountains as far as the eye could see.
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Pushing on the three of us headed for a beautiful shelter with a view. We had read that this shelter faced a valley view in sunrise and it was just hte sort of things dreams were made of  the next four miles were smoother than the other day and I enjoyed the pine after pine forest. I was feeling better emotionally but my leg still bothered me. It would have to be looked at sometime but for now I would have to suffer through it. As we shared the bunk space I waited for the sun to come up. My restless night allowed me no real sleep and only further pushed me down the path of frustration.

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